Sadly, and according to this new work done by some members of the nanny state lifestyle cabal, it is now official that there is no safe level of living (see: There is No Safe Amount of Processed Meat). Building upon the work of their anti-alcohol advocate comrades, this group has concluded that it is no longer safe to consume any amount of processed meat or drinks that contain sugar due to the small risks associated with not-so-moderate consumption of these products (for example, part of the study is based on consumption of one hot dog every single day – do you know anyone who eats that many hot dogs?).
Forthcoming guidance will likely conclude that it is also not safe to swim in the ocean (sharks!), venture out into the sun (skin cancer!), ride a bike (crashes!), drive in a car (worse crashes!), or even go for a walk (being hit by a foolish risk-accepting cyclist or driver). Similarly, don’t play sports (injuries!), don’t exercise (more injuries!), or even go outside (see sun warning above). Also, don’t have sex (very risky!) or have children (even worse!) as it is the ultimate exercise in recklessness to bring new beings into this risk-filled world where they will also be plagued by miniscule amounts of danger.
On the other hand, if you think that the above is a pile of claptrap and that the purveyors of all of this doom are simply seeking media attention (and government grants) with dodgy conclusions from questionable science, then by all means get on with your life. You will be free of the stress from reading nonsensical articles that scare you into ridiculous lifestyle choices.
You may then feel free once again to enjoy the wind in your hair while riding a bike on a sunny day, the thrill of scoring a goal in a hard fought soccer game, the warmth of the ocean on a lovely summer day, and the camaraderie of meeting friends while enjoying a BBQ steak. And you can happily have that steak with a fabulous and absolutely delicious glass of the red wine of your choice.
Cheers to a life well lived!